Conflict in Mushroom Kingdom: No More Phoney War
by Edible Handsoap
Summary: Part I is now complete, as is chapter 4 - Confusion in Moleville, the first chapter of Part II! Bowser's army is launching a full-scale assault upon Mushroom Kingdom, and Mario & company are nowhere to be found!
1. PART I The Onslaught

PART I  
  
CHAPTER 1 - THE FIRST STRIKE  
  
Bolts of lighting streaked through the October night sky. Citizens of Mushroom Kingdom rushed for the shelter of their homes as rain poured and dripped down their faces. Deafening thunder boomed repeatedly. Suddenly, the loud and distinctive noise of a bugle sounded throughout the darkness. More and more bugles were heard as the seconds continued to pass slowly. A deafening roar suddenly started. Magikoopas charged forward into the Kingdom. Brave Mushroom men took spears or whatever they could find and rushed to protect their families, but they were hopelessly outnumbered, even with the help of the local militia from the castle, which was no doubt Bowser's main target for this attack. Divisions of Bowser's army stationed southeast of the Kingdom suddenly attacked on the opposite side of the other attackers, creating a diversion that made the route to the castle for the others much easier, as if the Mushroom Kingdom weren't already wimpy enough. They wouldn't give up however, as the battle raged on.  
  
***  
  
Mario was in Moleville, accompanied by ten others, trying to resolve a conflict in the area.  
  
"Gimme a break. What do they think we are, gophers? We can't afford to be running errands for these lowbrows. Bowser could be attacking the Kingdom at any time," Lakilester, one of Mario's comrades put in, just after the group was instructed to conduct a few tasks.  
  
"Well, don't forget, they are moles," Goombario replied sarcastically.  
  
Nevertheless, the team continued, and split up six and five after a while. This would prove to be a mistake.  
  
***  
  
"C'mon man, we've got to somehow contact Mario and company!" said a confused, angry, and emotional Mushroom man.  
  
"I got a clear shot!" a mysterious voice rang out among the dark midnight October sky.  
  
"Oof! D*** it!" the guy fell to the floor upon being hit right square in the heart by some magic stirred up by a Magikoopa.  
  
But the local Dojo Leader, accompanied by Chan and Lee, wasn't going to let the Magikoopa get away with that sort of crime. Three more magikoopas joined the solo one and the battle began.  
  
***  
  
"Okay, if we want to make it out of here alive, we're going to have to concentrate on the goal," Lakilester was trying to console his team of five, "And our goal, if you haven't figured it out yet, is to get back to Mushroom Kingdom and provide reinforcements. Now our only chance is to focus on that goal, and that goal only. Likewise, if we concentrate on other things, we're likely to get assaulted by Bowser's minions. Who's with me?"  
  
The whole party was asleep. Lakilester sighed. Why had Mario chosen him to be the leader of that party? He had never shown any leadership when he was in Team Pilot, a team of lakitus. Was it because he didn't trust him? No, then he wouldn't have assigned him to be the leader. Why did he have to do all this? Was Mario just testing him? Or did he really think Lakilester could handle the job?  
  
"I sure don't think I can," Lakilester thought, "I don't even know why I was assigned to Moleville anyway. Is this all just a bad dream? Please, let this be a dream. Please let me awake in my warm bed back in Flower Fields...NO! I've got to snap out of this! I was assigned to do this. I may as well accept it, no matter what the reason. I won't give up!"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Mario and his party were easily handling their situation, until disaster struck.  
  
CHAPTER 2 - ROUGH TIMES  
  
"We need medical attention NOW!" yelled a Mushroom Medic.  
  
"Ack! The dojo dwellers, defeated by magikoopas? It's unheard of!"  
  
"Shut your *** and help me!"  
  
"Y-y-y-yes sir!"  
  
The Kingdom had finally surrendered to Bowser's army after six long hours of battle the previous night. Princess Peach had been escorted out of the castle during the fierce battle, and was taking refuge in a cave.  
  
"Princess, please stay calm! Everything will be all right, I promise!"  
  
"I know...I just feel so helpless watching Mushroom Kingdom all destroyed, and I can't do anything about it..."  
  
"Princess, none of this is your fault!"  
  
Peach and the soldier watching over her were silent until a deafening boom was heard.  
  
"Boo-yah! This thing is saaaa-weeeeeeeet!"  
  
"Luigi?"  
  
"You bet your *** it's me! Me and these guys were just testing out this weapon we call "Pyro!" It shoots fireballs though this barrel, and it's fairly lightweight!"  
  
"Uhmm...Luigi? Perhaps you don't understand the current situation here. You see, Mushroom Kingdom is practically destroyed, Bowser took over the castle, and me and the princess are currently refugees. Oh, and your brother is missing, also."  
  
"Now, how the heck would he get lost coming from Moleville to Mushroom Kingdom?"  
  
"We don't exactly know, but we're thinking they were pushed back by Bowser's troops and were forced to take a detour. There's many hidden caves like this one in the area, some have gone in and were never seen again."  
  
"Well, any searches underway?"  
  
"Not yet, the Chancellor thinks that's too risky. He reminded us that Mario had been in many similar situations in the past and that we shouldn't be sending too many troops to search for him, the militia is getting stronger and we're planning for an attack in the near future. Besides, he has those ten others alongside him. We can't always depend on you and Mario."  
  
"D***, what the heck is he thinking? Our militia couldn't defeat Bowser in a million years! We need those guys or we're done for! Who knows what Bowser would do with the population if he got any farther!"  
  
"Luigi, everything will be all right! Please stay calm!" But Luigi was already gone, a puff of smoke was all that was left in his previous location.  
  
***  
  
Mario, Kooper, Bombette, Mallow, and Sushie were all crouching in pain. Without all eleven soldiers, they didn't stand a chance.  
  
"D*** it, d*** it, d*** it! Why did we have to split up?" squeaked Mario, trying desperately to stand.  
  
Kooper decided to speak his piece, "Man, we're gonna make it through here all right, I just know it! There's nothing we can't handle!"  
  
"Yeah right."  
  
"Look Mario, there's no sense in just giving up! The only way we'll be alive tomorrow is if we figure a way out if this cave! If you want to die, that's fine, just stay here. But you won't make me come with you, understood?"  
  
"Geez Kooper, I know. Don't have to get angry!" But their conversation was cut short by the sound of three magikoopas.  
  
"D***, they found us!" And the battle began.  
  
"Cast River's Wave!" yelled one of the magikoopas. Suddenly, huge waves appeared. The force of the waves pushed Mario and Kooper backward as the other magikoopas added their power to the attack. Kooper suddenly ducked into his shell. Mario jumped on top of him and started to surf over the waves, despite being extremely weak. A cracking sound was heard as Mario drove his hand up the bridge of one of the magikoopa's nose. He whacked another with his hammer as Kooper's shell hit him full force. The remaining villain drew his wand and desperately tried to cast magic. But Kooper's speed evaded it. Mario suddenly performed a downward strike with his hammer.  
  
"Yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Told ya we could handle it, Mario."  
  
***  
  
Lakilester was leading his party through a cave, having no idea what to do.  
  
"What the h*** are we supposed to do?"  
  
Goombario replied, "See that odd-colored dirt? There's obviously something there."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Mr. Sarcasm."  
  
"Shut up and inspect it, Mr. Leader."  
  
"F*** you." Lakilester turned over some of the "odd-colored dirt" to reveal nothing.  
  
"Hey, that's brilliant!"  
  
"I know, look at the dirt. It looks like it was a rock that was ground into dirt recently. The rock probably said something that Bowser didn't want us to see."  
  
"Riiiiiight. Now, what do you suppose it said?"  
  
"I dunno, but here's what was used to grind it. Dramatic proof, Lakilester."  
  
"A pencil sharpener? I highly doubt it. And the name's Spike, don't forget it."  
  
"Look Lakilester, your girlfriend's not here, so you can stop making up names for yourself. What your name is doesn't matter at this time."  
  
"Whatever." And so the party moved on, still no idea what they were doing.  
  
CHAPTER 3 - NIGHT VIGILANCE  
  
"D*** it! Not again! Sound the gong, sound the gong!" Confused Mushroom Kingdom villagers ran aimlessly around the city, not knowing where to go.  
  
More and more skull troopas charged down the hill, their footsteps booming throughout the Kingdom. Once again, some Mushroom People gave worthless efforts to try and stop them, but there was absolutely no chance this time. Hundreds fled from the scene as it began to rain. The skull troopas took complete control of the castle with hardly an effort. A Mushroom Man on the ground struggled to keep consciousness, struggled to see what was next. Three figures suddenly appeared on the horizon in the early morning sunrise. As they came closer, he could see what they were. They were three yellow-shelled koopas with bands around their forehead. The three mysterious koopas examined the wreckage, but made no sound. The Mushroom Man struggled harder than ever now to stay awake. Blood dripped from his arms and shoulders. He had to see what they were doing. He had to. Then suddenly... everything turned black.  
  
***  
  
Peach and the soldier were still hiding in the cave.  
  
"Any idea where Luigi went?" asked the soldier, twirling his spear.  
  
"H*** no."  
  
"Geez, what happened to your royalty attitude?"  
  
"F*** you." Peach walked away, starving and cold. "GOD D***IT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"GOOD-BYE!" She stormed away as the soldier chased after her.  
  
"PEACH! D*** IT, WHAT THE H*** AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"  
  
***  
  
Luigi, accompanied by Croco and Kolorado, was helplessly running down an unknown meadow, trying to find Mario.  
  
"Okay. Moleville... yeah, seven miles," he said, trying to be optimistic.  
  
"I've got a better idea," Croco the thief replied, "I know of a shorter path that us thieves take when goin' to Moleville from here. It should be comin' up pretty soon."  
  
"Brilliant, young lad!" exclaimed Kolarado the explorer. "You deserve a good cup o' tea, ay?"  
  
"All right, you lead the way then," said Luigi. And then they were off toward a path of thieves.  
  
***  
  
"Poisonous, poisonous, poisonous, ooh, here's a good one," Mario was sorting through crops of mushrooms, "Okay, that's fifteen." They used quite a few to heal themselves, leaving them with four. They met up with quite a few enemies along the way, but no big deal. No big deal, that is, until Kooper was knocked unconscious by the end of a dagger.  
  
"Who's there?!" No answer. "C'mon!" No answer. "I demand you!" Still no answer. "Come out of your ****in' hidin' place, bas****!"  
  
"Heh. Hey, watch the language, huh? That how yer parents brought ya up?"  
  
"Who the f*** are you?!"  
  
"Pitiful. Just pitiful. Some just don't learn, do they?"  
  
"That's it, I'm findin' you!"  
  
"Haha. I mean... ahem... I acknowledge you doin' that, but... I really don't think hide n' seek's gonna help ya out dis time."  
  
"Gotcha!"  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Eh? Rrrrr... D*** you!  
  
"Hmm? More tantrums? Really, you should learn more manners n' that." And before he even knew it, Mario was scooped up by four yellow-shelled koopas and carried away. And all his allies had been put to rest by sleeping gas.  
  
***  
  
Bowser had stationed soldiers on-guard throughout Mushroom Kingdom; some were cleaning up the mess from the most recent attack, which had been the previous night, the 2nd of November. The villagers had been locked up in a claptrap shack, with low prison rations of stale bread and river water. Guards kept constant watch over them. One guard asked them questions and demanded answers for entertainment.  
  
"You fools are livin' the easy life. Man, I'm on this stupid prison watch position. You fools ain't doin' nothin'."  
  
"Guards really do more than that?"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Seriously though, what the h*** do you do besides sit and look at prisoners?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Doesn't seem too tough."  
  
"Er..."  
  
"I mean, dude..."  
  
"SHUT YER F****IN' MOUTH, F***ER!"  
  
The teenager conversing with the guard punched him square in the mouth. The guard, named Tacrue, drew his spear, as the teenager, Batak, lost his balance and fell backwards into the hard stone wall. However, a Mushroom man came to the rescue, hitting Tacrue with a skillful kick in in the chest. Tacrue winced in pain as guards came and took both the man and Batak away.  
  
***  
  
Croco led Luigi and Kolorado down the thief path.  
  
Luigi asked,"Yo, this place got a name?"  
  
"Poll Way. First guy who came down here was named Poll," Croco replied.  
  
"Poll, huh?"  
  
"Yep. Poll."  
  
"He a goomba?"  
  
Croco stopped. "How'd ya know that?"  
  
"Got my sources."  
  
Croco sort of looked at him funny, shook his head, then moved on.  
  
***  
  
Konfusedo the soldier trudged along, trying to find Peach, who had recently fled from her shelter. He stopped for a few gulps of water and observed his surroundings. He was in a forest clearing, with the sun overhead. It was about noontime. He figured Peach would not go far, though he could not tell in which direction she had gone. He knew Peach had something up her sleeve, but he didn't know what. 


	2. PART II The Alliance

PART II - The Alliance  
CHAPTER 4 - CONFUSION IN MOLEVILLE  
  
(Flashback: Three months earlier)  
Aruri the mole picked up a sword.  
"If that's how it's gonna be, then that's how it's gonna be."  
A mysterious mole replied,"Aruri, what do you expect to do, take on the entire military?"  
Aruri snapped,"There ain't no military anymore, airhead! Think: Our leader's deceased, thieves are running around all over the place, and there must be dozens of factions attempting to overthrow the government... or at least what's left of it. And what's left of it? Nothing! Nothing besides a group of indecisive drunkards who can't control the subjects! If Chinimore were still alive, we'd be sitting in paradise. Instead, we're living in conditions less attractive than the average landfill. This is our chance, Sekondo. Our troops are ready. We've trained them to be solid fighters. Now, they're going to return the favor. We're going after the so-called... 'government'."  
Sekondo took a deep breath and retorted,"Your dreams of a guerrila movement are simply outrageous! I never went with you to revolt against the government! I went with you on this thing because you were my best friend. These fighters aren't meant to be pawns in a game with the government!"  
"Hold it. This isn't a guerrila! This ain't no revolution! This is simply a change for the better! Sek, join before you screwed by the government!"  
"... Okay."  
"Good. Now get to rest, tomorrow's a big day."  
(End of flashback)  
  
***  
  
Bowser sat back and rested. His attacks upon Mushroom Kingdom had been successful. He had just received news from a scout goomba that the castle had been completely taken by his soldiers. He had also heard the news that Mario and his friends were missing, as well as Luigi and Princess Toadstool. He had shifted much of his army to the Mushroom Kingdom area, and the morale of the soldiers seemed to be peaking. But there was one thing he had forgotten...   
  
***  
  
Konfusedo stopped, sat on a log, and weeped. He felt like a failure. He had always considered himself to be the black sheep of his family, but this was too much. Now he had lost the princess, as well as the trail he had been following through the woods. He went for a drink of water, only to find out it was empty. However, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It appeared to be smoke. He cautiously inched toward the site, his entire body trembling. It looked to be just a group of moles at first, but closer inspection revealed...  
"P-p-princess!" He sprinted toward the fire.  
"Shut up." A mole general, Jinu, drew his sword and pointed it toward the mushroom soldier.  
Konfusedo stood, petrified.  
"Good. Now drop the spear."  
Konfusedo let go of his spear, while he shivered from head to toe.  
Jinu beckoned to one of his soldiers. "Confiscate it. No, wait, throw it in the shed. Could be useful. As for you," he glared at Konfusedo, sending chills up his spine,"go join your stupid little princess there."  
Konfusedo worked up his courage. "The princess is not stupid, she..."  
"SHUT THE **** UP AND DO WHAT I SAY!"  
Konfusedo obediently joined Peach, trembling the whole way.  
Jinu juggled his sword a few times. "Now we wait."  
Konfusedo asked,"Wait for what?"  
"I believe I told you to shut your mouth. Tape his jabbering trap, will you?"   
Jinu's soldiers put tape over Konfusedo's mouth, as the mole laughed.  
"We're waiting for a certain koopa king. I'll just let that sink in... by the way, I've heard about your chubby pal, Mario. He came to Moleville the other day with a bunch of losers. They killed a band of thieves. We owe them a bundle, but I guess we don't have to pay, since he's missing. I don't think they're mercenaries anyway." Jinu yawned. "****, what time is it? That imbecile Bowser is slightly tardy, it seems. Oh well, whoever he sends will probably be slain anyway. It's kind of like the mafia, except much more professional."  
  
***  
  
Aruri sat in front of his council, including Sekondo. This alliance had been a perfect idea. So had been the revolution, or, of course, as he had labeled it, change for the better. They had brought in Mario's troop to rid Moleville of the thieves, then formed an alliance with Bowser to force Mario and the rest to take a detour through the Central Caves. Now that he had bought some time, he planned to collect a fee from Bowser for the help they had provided. He would then send a large group of soldiers straight to the now much more penetrable castle of Bowser. He loved it. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more pleased he became. Of course, he had no real intention of harming Mushroom Kingdom, either. He figured that once Bowser's army was completely overthrown (and he never really considered any other possibility), he would attempt to ressurect the Kingdom, and, if it worked, would take credit for it. Jinu and company were simply pawns to buy more time and get the fee from Bowser. He relayed some of his complete planning to the council, feeling awfully good about himself. 


End file.
